Funeral flowers go to the service and are meant to be seen by everyone there. Sympathy flowers go to the family personally, usually at their home, and are meant just for them. Funeral flowers honor the person who died. Sympathy flowers support the people still here.
Most people use the two terms interchangeably and no florist is going to correct you. But the distinction is worth knowing, because it answers the two questions you're actually trying to answer: what to send, and where to send it.
Funeral Flowers
These are built for a room. They're displayed during the viewing, the service, or at the graveside, and afterward they either go to the cemetery or home with the family.
They're bigger than anything you'd send to a house, because they need to read from the back of a chapel. Most of them stand on an easel.
- Casket sprays — the piece on top of the casket, which comes from the immediate family
- Standing sprays — one-sided arrangements on an easel, the most common choice from friends and coworkers
- Wreaths — round tributes on an easel, often sent by a group
- Crosses — standing floral crosses for Christian and Orthodox services
- Altar and church pieces — sized to the sanctuary rather than to a table
- Urn arrangements — designed to surround the urn at a cremation service
Where they go: the funeral home, church, chapel, or cemetery.
When to send: before the service, timed to be delivered and set up in advance.
Sympathy Flowers
These are for the family, at home, and they're a private gesture rather than a public one.
They're smaller — a vase arrangement, a basket, or a plant — and they're built to sit on a kitchen counter or an entry table, not to be seen from twenty feet away.
Where they go: the family's home, sometimes a workplace.
When to send: whenever. Before the service, after it, or weeks later. The week after the funeral is often the best moment, because that's when the visitors stop coming and the house goes quiet.
So Which Should You Send?
| Your situation | What to send |
|---|---|
| You're going to the service | Funeral flowers, to the venue |
| You're immediate family | The casket spray, to the venue |
| Your office is sending together | One standing spray, to the venue |
| You can't attend | Sympathy flowers, to the home |
| You only just heard, weeks later | Sympathy flowers, to the home |
| The obituary says "in lieu of flowers" | A donation, and optionally something small to the home |
| You want to do both | Both. Common, and entirely appropriate. |
Our guide to where funeral flowers should be sent goes into the delivery side in more detail, including what to do when you don't have an address.
A Word About Plants
Plants sit slightly outside both categories and are worth thinking about.
They're usually sent as sympathy rather than funeral flowers, and their advantage is time. Cut flowers last a week or two. A plant lasts as long as somebody waters it, and plenty of families around here end up putting them in the garden.
If you want to send something that isn't gone by the end of the month, that's the answer.
Do the Flowers Themselves Differ?
Somewhat, but less than the internet would have you believe.
Lilies, roses, carnations, chrysanthemums, gladioli — these are traditional funeral flowers mostly because they're sturdy, available year-round, and hold up in a warm room for a couple of hours. The symbolic meanings attached to them are real and go back centuries, and also nobody at the service is decoding them. If you're curious anyway, we wrote about what funeral flower colors traditionally mean.
Sympathy arrangements headed to a home tend to be softer and less formal, because they're going into a house rather than a chapel.
How We Handle Both
We're a funeral florist, so this is all we do. Service pieces are designed, delivered, and set up by us at funeral homes, churches, and cemeteries across Clark County and the Portland metro. Sympathy arrangements go to homes and workplaces on whatever timeline you want, including weeks after the service.
Nothing is pre-made. We order flowers for your specific service and build close to the date, so what arrives is at its freshest. For service pieces we also send the family a photo of the finished setup before they walk in.
Still Not Sure Which One Fits?
Tell us your relationship to the family and whether you're going to the service. We'll tell you honestly what makes sense — and if the answer is a small arrangement rather than a large one, we'll say so.
Call (360) 984-8059Prefer to write it out? Fill out our quote form.
Common Questions
Is there really a difference, or is it just terminology?
Mostly it's destination and scale. Funeral flowers go to the service and are larger. Sympathy flowers go to the family and are smaller. Any florist will understand either term.
Can I send sympathy flowers to the funeral home?
You can, and they'll be displayed. But a small vase arrangement tends to disappear in a room full of standing sprays. If it's going to the service, send something built for a service. Our sympathy flowers page covers what we make for each.
What if I don't know when or where the service is?
Send sympathy flowers to the family's home instead. That works regardless of the schedule, and it's never the wrong gesture.
Should I send both?
Plenty of people do — something to the service, something to the home afterward. There's no etiquette against it.
What do I write on the card?
Short and specific beats eloquent and general. Sign it so the family knows who you are — full names or a group name, not just a first name they might not place. We have a whole post on card wording if you're stuck.